Aiden's Amazing Life: The Cloud of Worry

Well, here we are again, back at a Thursday and time for another fill with Aiden. A fill, that earlier this week, I wasn't 100% positive that we would be able to do it as scheduled. Unfortunately, during expansion, there is a constant cloud of worry that hangs in the back of my mind to remind me that any little thing has the potential to turn into something bigger. It is one of the sucky parts of expansion but it completely worth it to make sure we get the best result possible.

Earlier this week, Aiden wasn't sleeping too well at night. This is not completely unusual for this to happen from time to time but I was still checking him to make sure nothing was wrong with expanders or his stitches. He did not have a fever or any other symptoms either. Until Tuesday. He woke up sneezing like crazy with a runny nose. No other symptoms so I thought it could possibly be just allergies. My mom and I both felt like he was a little warm feeling but no fever so that made me feel a little bit better that allergies could easily be the issue.

Didn't have a lot of time to worry too much at that moment because I had to take him to see the Dermatologist and remove the stitches in his leg. UGH. Thinking about this was a huge distraction from worrying about his runny nose though. I dread stitch removal and especially with Aiden being older, I knew that this would be hard. On the bright side, I knew it shouldn't take long as it was only a few stitches. Aiden knew something was up the second I set him down on the chair. I set up the iPad and gave him a sucker, hoping that it would be enough of a distraction. Unfortunately, it would be a big lie to say that it did. Although it was a short process to take out the stitches, there was crying and probably the worst part for me was him asking for me to pick him up. Instead I had to hold him down. He was scared, simple as that and its not easy watching him go through so much fear BUT the one thing I can say, is that after it was over, he was 100% fine. He doesn't remember it now and he won't remember it later. With all that being said though, his leg looks FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!

After that was over, it was back to worrying about the runny nose. It wasn't getting better but it wasn't getting worse. By night time, he sounded a little stuffed up but still no cough, no fever. As a precaution, I emailed Dr. Bauer just to keep him in the loop. Since it was still a few days from fill day, he told me to see how he was over the next few days and if it seemed to be cold symptoms, hold off on filling for a few days. UGH. I knew thats what he would say but all I could do was hope it didn't turn into a cold.

Wednesday comes and he still is sneezing with a runny nose but it has improved so I am somewhat relieved. That cloud of worry tells me not to jump to any conclusions just yet. By night time, he seems a little stuffy again but no other symptoms.

So here Thursday comes and he sleeps through the night and wakes up seeming ok. I go back and forth all morning whether or not we should do the fill today. Its that cloud of worry that has me second guessing what to do but after having a sneeze free morning, I decided to go for it. Aiden certainly is way more aware now that he is older. He didn't like the lidocaine going on one bit this time. I know it doesn't hurt. He just knows something up and I don't think the previous trip to the doctor helped one bit. A reason that I am so very glad we get to do this at home. He is so much more comfortable at home than in a doctors office.

Much to my surprise, Aiden did a lot better than I thought he would after being afraid of the lidocaine cream. Two of the three bubbles went perfectly. I filled the lower chest expander first and was able to get 50cc making the total 160cc. Then I filled the back expander and got in 30cc making the total now 85cc. Then came time for the upper chest expander, the one where the port is in the arm. Michael had to hold down his arm so that I wouldn't contaminate the needle and also so that he wouldn't try to pull the needle out while expanding. He did cry the whole time and that was hard but I got the job done quickly and it was over. Its hard to know whether he cried because he wasn't numb or because he was scared. My guess is the latter though because he started crying before the needle ever got close to touching the port. All in all, I would say it was another successful fill. Check out his growing bubbles!